Haiti...I miss you

Daily, I get asked "how was Haiti?" and still, 2 weeks later, I struggle for the words. Trying to articulate what God did during our time there seems impossible, and oh how I wish you all could have physically been there with us. We carried your hearts, love and prayers with us. There were times, when I thought my heart would fail me...but your prayers, they carried me.

Oh those moments, they are forever branded in my mind and on my heart. Specifically at the first orphanage we visited. We were greeted with songs & smiles, just the thought of all of the beautiful faces of the children, brings tears to my eyes. The kids, in a word, breathtaking. It only took a short while for me to see beyond the gorgeous faces to the conditions in which they live. Just the thought of this, makes me sick to my stomach. When you are 8 years old, you should get more than one meal a day, you shouldn't have to cook your only meal over an open fire with no adult supervision, nor should you have to scrub your own laundry by hand and hang it to dry on the barbwire fence that surrounds the orphanage you live in. And yet these children, never complained, never cried, never for one second did the conditions they live in or the circumstances of their lives dictate their attitude, they were full of joy and thankful to just be held or played with. They are some of the strongest, most incredible kids I've ever seen.

I met one little boy names Stephan, who absolutely captured my heart. I noticed him off to the side not really participating, even when we unloaded crocs, he didn't seem to stir. I watched him and slowly made my way to him. After sitting next to him for about 5 minutes, he silently climbed into my lap. It was then that I realized the poor little guy had a raging fever and my heart broke. I sat there with him for 2 hours, just cuddling him, praying over him and fanning him.

Then we had to leave. To leave a sick child alone on the cement, with a fever in 100 degree weather...it absolutely broke my heart. And it was then, that your prayers sustained me and covered Stephan.

The next day we were able to go back to the orphanage and there he was again, same spot, same fever....Again, I spent most the day holding him and praying for him. As the time came to say goodbye, I felt as though my heart was literally going to fail me. I would have given ANYTHING to stay there with him. There was just something so wrong with that picture, leaving a sick little boy alone. And that's when I heard God speak to me...and all he said was "Trust me Sarah, I love Stephan more than you ever will, and I have a perfect plan for his life." I kissed Stephan on his forehead and told him that I loved him and had to walk away. I left a piece of my heart in that orphanage. It was then and is still now, that your prayers carried me and continue to carry Stephan.

So from the bottom of my heart I thank you, please know this trip couldn't have happened without your love, prayers and support.

We've been home for 2 weeks today. I came back from Haiti ruined. I think one of team members said it best when she said she's 'uncomfortable in her comfort', that's the perfect description of how I feel, and I want it to stay that way. Being home has been a rough transition, I have so many stories to share but I'm still processing everything. I'm slow like that, but promise that I will post more when I can wrap my mind around it all.

Sarah